You Want Me To Stick My Key Card Where?!?

Yes, working at the front desk can be a fun and exciting task. My weekends consist of watching other people having fun, drinking too much, and embarrassing themselves in front of strangers (i.e. me.) There was a fraternity reunion at the hotel this weekend and although the frat boys were somewhat well behaved, there were still a few exceptions.

The Biggest Loser:

As a guess, I would say this man was not a male model. OK... he was pushing probably 400 lbs. Why do I tell you this you ask? Simply because he was piss drunk by 9pm., could not find his room, forgot his name, and his pants were falling down. Believe me when I say, I was not asking myself "boxers or briefs?"
The next morning I checked him out and he did not remember me. Well, maybe he was hoping I forgot about the incident the night before. To him I say... I know what you did last night Mwhahahaaaa!
Now please buy a belt.

Sex Addiction 101:

Dear man who bought a room and ordered six movies after being checked in an hour before,
We know you have a hooker and that you are watching porn. We only comped the movies because we felt bad for you. We had to sterilize the room one you left to get rid of the hooker/ smell of your hair grease. You are icky.

Little Miss Pain-in-the-Ass:

There is a guest that frequents the hotel. I always recognize her because you always recognize the crazy ones. When I check her in it goes like this:

"Here are your room keys.
No mam, no one will mug you outside in the parking lot.
We have valet parking... OK I understand that you like to park your own car but of you dislike our parking garage.... yes mam we have security at the parking lot. No mam the homeless people do not kill hotel guests."

Sometimes I feel underpaid.

The Last Headache

Have you ever seen a movie preview and thought… “You could not pay me enough money to watch that?”

I mean so bad that the previews are hard to watch?

Now I am by no means a movie critic. There are often times I will watch long drawn out Lifetime movies, Rock-of-Love marathons, and even insanely outrageous infomercials, (the E-Z Cracker is my current favorite.) Every once in a while there is that one movie that is so bad looking and not the funny kind that Syfy airs. The kind where I just want to ram my head against the wall to get the theme some out of my head. Or in this case, Miley Cyrus’s mug. That’s right, you guessed it. The movie I am referring to is, “The Last Song” starring Miley Cyrus and her boyfriend, the hot Australian dude. I think he has a name but I really don’t care. He’s hot and from Australia so that’s all anyone should have to know about him.



On a side note, and Melissa this one goes out to you. According to the “rules of men” that Melissa and I have came up with, normally the really hot ones are not allowed to talk because it most likely makes them less attractive. In this case however, he is allowed to talk because he has a hot accent. Don’t worry; I will post the rules in a later post.

Ok, back to the terrible movie.
This makes me think of other terrible movies that make me cringe at the preview…. even when it is on mute and I close my eyes.
For example:

Anything starring Miley Cyrus
Picture This

The only redeeming quality about this movie is that it is based off of a Nicolas Sparks book. Having met him while he visited Stockton College while I was a student, makes me like him more. His books are all sappy love novels and I will admit that after reading “A Walk to Remember” I cried. Rachael McAdams, Mandy Moore, now Miley Cyrus? Have they heard her talk at all? Also, she is not even wearing training bras yet and she is the romantic lead? This is not good.

I cannot wait until this movie stops playing in theaters so I no longer have to suffer through the previews.